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Support is available for people who have loved ones with a drug or alcohol addiction

Family_Drug_Support

Over the past 12 months, Laura* has barely missed attending the weekly Family Drug Support Group at Bendigo Community Health Services.

She came for the initial guided eight-week program, and stayed for the ongoing peer and professional support, which she says has left her a stronger person.

Laura’s former partner has a long-term drug addiction. Laura says this group has helped her understand the nature of addiction, foster a sense of hope for the future, create a plan to handle situations as they arise, and above all, made her feel heard.

“I’ve learnt to set boundaries,” she says. “And I’ve come to understand that his addiction is not my fault … that his choices, attitudes and behaviours are his choices, and I can’t control that. Recently he relapsed, and what I’ve learnt gave me the strength to protect myself and my children. This program has given me my strength back.”

The structured group is led by BCHS Family Drug Support Practitioner Noelene Kennedy. Noelene leads the members through a cyclical eight-week program covering topics such as Supporting a family member with addiction; Conflict resolution; Boundary setting and enabling; and Self care.

However, there is plenty of time to simply talk. The group begins with members pouring a cuppa, sharing how they’re travelling, and why they’re here. The stories unite the people present, which can include partners, parents, grandparents, siblings and children of people with an addiction.

“People can come, share their stories, and they connect because they’re all going through a similar situation,” Noelene says.

“Family Drug Support is for people who don’t know where to go or what to do with their loved one’s addiction.

“It’s for people who may not have others to talk to who could understand, and because of the stigma, it’s all hush hush. We provide a safe space to share openly, with no judgement.”

Noelene says sometimes group members’ loved ones are seeking treatment for their addiction, but often they’re not.

“We emphasis self-care and setting boundaries, and if the person’s loved one is seeking treatment, we show them how to support them,” she says.

“They’re learning. They’re learning about addiction, and they’re learning it’s not their fault. They’re learning ways to stop obsessing about what their loved ones are doing.”

Noelene has worked in drug and alcohol services for 16 years.

“In my lived experience, I’d say as many as one in three people are effected by someone’s drug and alcohol use,” she says.

“If a loved one is struggling with addiction, it affects not only them but at least 12 other people who have been a part of their lives.

“Many people are sick and tired and they don’t know where to go. We know people are waiting up to 14 weeks to see a counsellor, but there’s no waiting list here and counsellors can refer people to us.”

One group member comments, “I’m surprised this group isn’t full and running every day of the week.”

Noelene says the need is there, however stigma can prevent people from seeking support.

“That’s true. It’s taken me a while to come,” the member responds. It’s the second week they’ve attended the group.

Other comments offered by members include:

“I’m here because I’ve had a gutful.”

“I’m trying to toughen up, but I’m not there yet.”

“I’m stronger this time, thanks to you. Love you for that Noels.”

People speak of constant worry, financial toll, sleepless nights, abuse and love.

“This is a safe place where people know they’re not being judged,” Noelene says. “They’re being listened to and they’re connecting with people who have similar issues.

“We recognise the significant impact that addiction can have on families and offer a range of services to support them.

“We encourage families to reach out for help and access the resources available to them. Remember, you’re not alone in this struggle, and there is support out there for you and your loved one.”

The Family Drug Support Group is a free and confidential service open to anyone who has a loved one with an addiction.

For more information, please call Noelene’s phone on 0436 430 021, leave your name and phone number and Noelene will return your call as soon as possible.

*Laura is not the group member’s real name